Don’t worry …

Again, not that anyone is reading this blog, but I just wanted to point out that at least nine other Popes in history have also resigned (namely, Gregory XII, Celestine V, Sylvester III, Clement II, Gregory VI, Martin I, Benedict IX, Silverius, and Pontian).  Three of those Popes, furthermore, became saints.  I even found some unconfirmed comments that Pope Clement I of Alexandria, an Apostolic Father who was taught by St. Peter himself, may have also resigned (but again, can’t confirm it).

So, don’t worry.  Benedict XVI isn’t that weird.  What I’m worried about is the prophecies of St. Malachy, which supposedly indicates that Benedict XVI is the last Pope before PETER II (who will then be the one to hand the keys back to Jesus at the Second Coming).  Oh, death.

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Not that anyone is reading this blog anymore … but …

I just saw the best movie ever.  When I say “best” I don’t actually mean that.  Or do I?

“Iron Sky” is the cinematic feast about which I speak.  It’s probably actually the worst movie ever made.  But when movies get so bad, it’s hard to tell if they might not actually be the best.  You know how confusing that can get.

So here’s the plot …

A bunch of Nazis managed to escape earth and settle on the dark side of the moon at the end of World War II.  Ever since then, they have been planning an invasion of earth.  However, the US President is a Sarah Palin-like ditz who, in a desperate campaign move to get reelected, sends a famous black male model to the moon, but of course he ends up getting captured by Nazis.  They forcefully change his skin color somehow to make him look more Aryan (which he hates and obviously says a lot of funny, racist stuff about).  Also, despite their ridiculously advanced steampunk technology, the Nazis are amazed at the astronaut’s cell phone which they then utilize to put the finishing touches on gigantic war machine.  However, the phone runs out of batteries, so they risk sending a detachment down to earth to retrieve more cell phones.  Two Nazis (a guy named Adler and his genetically compatible fiancee) along with the captured Aryanized male model go down to earth in a Nazi flying saucer and eventually gain control of the US government by helping the President with her election campaign using traditional Nazi propaganda techniques.

Iron Sky

In the meantime, the poor Aryanized male model has escaped and is living like a homeless bum, preaching on street corners about the dangers of the “Moon Nazis,” but no one listens to him.  The President’s opportunistic female campaign director falls in love with Adler who ultimately dumps her in his move to become the new Fuhrer and lead the final invasion of earth himself.  The Nazis commence a “meteorblitzkrieg” with space zeppelins towing asteroids down to earth.   The President counts all of this a blessing, since all Presidents who started a war in their first term always got reelected.  The President then unveils a secret battle spaceship called the USS George W. Bush loaded with nukes to take on these Lunar National Socialists.  In the end, the moon pretty much gets blown up and all the countries in the world start launching ICBMs at each other.

So, as you can see, best movie ever.  I won’t blame you if you hate it because it’s actually pretty bad.   But pretty dang awesome.

iron_sky2

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A Pink Elephant (with yellow polka dots)

A silly hidden camera prank.  Pretty much the best ever.

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Choose Your Poison

Sorry, but here’s another delicious video about Romney.  (Note: the video is entirely ruined when the show that antiquated “Obama: Hope” poster at the end … and I think many people of diverse walks of life would agree).

And just to balance it out.  Let’s hear some criticism of Obama … from an African American no less so you know it’s true:

We need more people voicing their opposition to the Democratic and Republican parties.  They both fail.  And even normal people are starting to realize this now.

Voting for Obama may be the stupidest thing a human could do.  Somehow, I feel that voting for Romney might even be stupider.  I might be wrong.  Maybe it’s just as stupid.

But, at this point, as long as a candidate says, “I’m pro-Life” it’s good enough for some faithful Catholics.  It doesn’t really matter if there’s any evidence to back up the candidate’s bleeding obvious lie.  At least he’s not Obama.  Just as liberals who say, “Well, at least Obama isn’t Romney.”  Both viewpoints are admirable.  In their own way.  Also, both viewpoints suck.  In just about every way.

As long as there are two apparent options, people will gravitate to one or the other, no matter how much both options are crap.  Well, I reject that.  I’ve had enough of this crap.  I choose neither.

If we really want to send a message to our enlightened government that the choices they’re presenting us are retarded, we should reject both those options.  Because something tells me that voting for Romney is not sending them that message.

(And if you’re planning to vote for Obama, I can’t even relate to you.)

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You better vote for Romney!!!

If there is any doubt about Romney being Pro-Life, watch this video:

Oh … nevermind.  But Romney is a changed man now, right?  In fact, this is what he says now: “My position has been clear throughout this campaign … I’m in favor of abortion being legal in the case of rape and incest, and the health and life of the mother.”  There we go.  That’s the kind of pro-life guy we’re talking about.

And just in case there’s any doubt still, Romney’s sister, Jane, has assured the media that Romney will not try to ban abortion if he’s elected President.

For dessert, I also want to add that Massachusetts, as you may already know, was the first US state to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  Guess who was governor of Massachusetts at that time?  That’s right.  Our champion for the Culture of Life … Mitt Romney.

Did I mention he was Mormon too?  He’s Mormon too.  Everybody seems to forget that for some reason.

But since Romney said he’s pro-life, even if he’s not, we are now morally obligated to vote for him.  That is the code of the Pro-Life Republican way.  And it’s been working great. Yeah.

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Building the New Rome

rome

In 2005 I spent three months in Rome. In some ways I have never left. Perhaps it sounds like a commonplace to say that I “left part of myself” in the Eternal City. But the fact is, I did. I returned to Rome once more, in the spring of 2007, when I proposed to my now-wife in Assisi, and I have not been back since. And yet, to this day there is hardly a week that goes by when I do not dream about Rome, and often these dreams recur far more frequently than that.

There is very little to tell about these dreams: usually I am alone, or with another person or group of friends, wandering through the cobblestone streets and alleyways of the city. It is not so much the events, but rather the mood of these dreams that so disturbs my sleep, and then my waking hours, so that I often feel the influence of their haunting beauty long after I have awoken.

Very often, in the curious manner of dreams, “Rome” looks nothing at all like the real Rome, and yet when I awake I am absolutely certain that I was dreaming about the Eternal City. This makes sense because Rome has become so much more to me than a city, even a very beautiful one: it has become an archetype, a symbol, an abstraction of beauty, both man-made and divine.  And whenever I encounter such beauty in my dreams, whether it bears any resemblance at all to anything actually in Rome, it is categorized simply as “Rome.”

Our sleeping subconscious minds are far more skilled creators than our waking selves, and if I could show you the churches and basilicas and cafes and boulevards and parks and vistas that my imagination has cooked up in the small hours of the morning, you should see why I feel as if I am haunted by the Eternal City. And yet, for all of their ethereal beauty, I doubt that anything my sleeping imagination has concocted comes anywhere close to what the real Rome has to offer.

Continue reading at Crisis Magazine here….

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The Shining and the Lunar Landing Hoax

So, the theory is that Stanley Kubrick, the director of the film The Shining (as well as 2001: A Space Odyssey and Dr. Strangelove, etc.) was hired by the US government to fabricate the Apollo 11 landing on the moon.  This is, of course, because the US never made it to the moon … though it was imperative that the world thought otherwise, lest we lose the technological/cultural prestige in the Cold War against Russia.  You know the story.

So, I was directed by a friend to this YouTube video that apparently shows how The Shining is Kubrick’s symbolic confession of all this.  I’m ashamed to say that it reminds me of things I seemed to see in Star Wars and Mary Poppins.  Same kind of curious coincidences … some of them being, perhaps, far-fetched but not too out there.  But I shy away from conspiracy theories like this, simply because I tend to believe them (and when I do, I start to feel insane).  MythBusters did a nice job assuaging my fears for a time, convincing me the Moon Landing was authentic … but now that this has come up, I don’t know.

I hope I’m not crazy.  That’s all I ask.

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