One Chance

Here is a pro-life poem my 12-year-old sister wrote recently:

One Chance
by Sophia K. A.

A baby in his Mother’s womb has ears that can hear.
He can hear his Mother saying things that fill the baby with fear.

The Mother says, “I can’t afford it. I cannot have a child.
I have little money, and little time. This idea’s just too wild.”

The baby asks his guardian angel what they’re talking about.
The angel replies, “My child, they want to kill you before you come out.”

Trembling, the baby shouts, “I do not want to die!
“I want to live and see the world.” And then he starts to cry.

He kicks at his mother’s stomach and yells, “Mother, I’m your son!
You can’t possibly kill me now! My life will already be done.”

The mother doesn’t really care. The doctor asks, “Do you want him?”
As she replies “No” the light in her womb grows darker, and colder, and dim.

“Goodbye,” whispers the tired child. He sighs his very last breath.
He waits for the moment. He sheds a tear…and finally reaches his death.

Later, the mother is all alone, with no children to be at her side.
The father regrets his big mistake. He wish his son had not died.

The parents realize how innocent he was, before the day of his birth.
“If only I had a Second Chance.” Remember what the unborn are worth.

Sophia K. A.

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A “Eucharistic” Interpretation of Doctor Who

I came across a blog that gave a good Eucharistic interpretation of the sci-fi show Doctor Who.  I’ve only seen a couple episodes of the show, but I’ve long felt that it meant something … something Catholic.  Never could figure it out though.  But then I came across this.  I felt this blogger’s post shared the same spirit from which I got my past interpretations of Star Wars being crazily connected to Vatican II and Mary Poppins with none other than Our Blessed Mother.  Sure, it’s all pretty laughable ridiculous.  But that’s a good sign that it’s true.

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Now that I never update this blog, let me direct you to my new website which I’ll update even less (right?).  Somehow, I snagged the domain “”.  I was pretty proud of myself.  It’s just been sitting there though, so I’ve finally decided to do something about it.  “What’s Thomism?” some will ask.  I don’t know.  Actually, I have some idea. Thomism simply refers to the Philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas.  You know.  That guy.

As of now, the only page on it is titled Hundreds of Proofs of God’s Non-Existence.  It’s a long list of “syllogisms” I’ve come up with that basically summarizes/satirizes typical (and occasionally not-so-typical) arguments atheists make against God’s existence.  It’s the complete opposite of what some atheists did on another website.  I’m not the first to have done this, but I wanted to do my own version anyway.  Hopefully, it’ll spark some discussion.  At the very least, it’ll may really piss some people off.

Feel free to submit more to the list (not all entries will be accepted).

God Bless.

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Traditionalist Nazis

So good.

(Note: Video contains some mean subtitles, if you’re sensitive to that sort of thing)

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First things that come to mind about the new Pope

So, I’m going to say the first things that come to mind regarding the new Pope (elected but a few hours ago).  I’m looking forward to regretting everything I’m going to say.  It’ll be one of those, “Wow, you’re really an idiot”-kind-of-a-thing when people will look back at it.  But hopefully, no one will look back at it.  So, let me proceed to shoot my mouth off without any fear of consequences.

  • For some reason, I now think the prophecies of St. Malachy are garbage.  I thought it was going to be Cardinal Bertone, which would have ended the world (as explained in a previous post), but it’s not.  Whew.  The world may yet survive.  Kind of retarded first thing to put on this list … but it was on my mind.
  • Why didn’t anyone expect this guy to be Pope?  This guy is freaking perfect in every way.  Is everyone retarded?  I mean, both the secular and Catholic sources I know totally didn’t call this.  And yet, looking at this guy’s credentials, it’s like, “Um, duh.”  It’s kind of like one of those mystery stories where the murderer is the most obvious suspect and yet no one suspects him.  Except he’s not the murderer.  He’s the Pope.
  • This guy embodies something that is very dear to my heart, namely, he has the good aspects of “liberalism” and “conservatism.”  That is, he cares for the poor and knows things need to change (i.e. liberal), but values tradition and isn’t a slave to the newest sexual/homosexual agendas (i.e. conservative).  In other words, he’s Catholic, which is something a lot of liberal Catholics and conservative Catholics can’t say about themselves nowadays.
  • He’s going to reform the Jesuits.  He’s the first Jesuit Pope, man.  And those Jesuits are going to get a reformin’.  Fortunately, I’ve strangely never encountered a “bad Jesuit.”  Something that is rather statistically impossible, but I’ve managed to do it.  All the ones I’ve met have met have been the most impressive and orthodox priests ever which have made me think, “Why can’t other priests be like them?”  But I know there exists a great horde of heterodox monstrosities in that once-glorious order.  It is a parody of what it once was.  The Jesuits were the most formidable, kickass, Catholic ninjas in history.   Now they’re a bunch of fags.  Except for the good ones, which are still the best human beings ever, though few and far between.  Fortunately, Pope Francis is one of those few’n’far’b/w.  So far as I can gather.  Gulp.
  • It really feels like the beginning of a new age.  I’m mean, the fact that this is the first New World Pope feels like we’re going into a New World.  Columbus found America around the beginning of the Modern Age.  Maybe the first Pope from America will end the Modern Age.  Hopefully it will be a better age.  Maybe not.  But maybe so.
  • I think Pope Francis’ anti-homosexual agenda stance will be a powerful one, considering he is really a man of the people and not just some ivory tower Catholic intellectual.  While against the homosexual agenda, he still would go to hospitals and wash the feet of AIDS patients.  Amazing.
  • And, etc.  I got to go.  Some partying happenin’.

Habemus Papam!

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The context is an incompetent undercover cop (Jimmy Fallon), along with a female taxi-driver (Queen Latifah), finally track down a band of supermodels that are robbing banks. But they get caught.  Then this happens …

Other than that, not that great of a movie.

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The Next Apocalypse Alert …

Just when I thought the Mayan Calendar scare would satisfy my apocalyptic paranoia for awhile, then this had to happen …

So, as you probably know, St. Malachy (a 12th century bishop) supposedly wrote a prophetic list of all Popes to come, giving them poetic titles which cryptically reveal what they would be like.  According to the list, the successor of Benedict XVI will be the last Pope ever.

Some argue that the poetic titles don’t match their correlating Pontiffs very well.  But there are a few instances where they do, such that you really start to get stressed out.

“Pious City in War” is Malachy’s title for who became Pope Innocent IX, who had been Patriarch of Jerusalem (a pious city) as well as a papal nuncio under Pius V wherein he got Spain and Venice to team up with each other to defeat the Turks at the Battle of Lepanto (arguably the most decisive naval battle in history, and one which saved Christendom from becoming Muslim).

“Corrupted Nation” corresponds to Pope Paul V who began the practice of nepotism, wherein he appointed his unsuited family members to ecclesiastical offices, leading a very less-than-ideal era for the Renaissance Papacy as well as Italy in general.

“Religion Destroyed” corresponds to Pope Benedict XV, whose reign saw the rise of atheistic communism which succeeded in destroying religious belief all over the world like nothing else in human history.

“Shepherd and sailor” corresponds to Pope John XXIII who had been Patriarch of Venice (a place associated with seafaring perhaps more than any other place in the world).

“From the midst of the moon” corresponds to Pope John Paul I, whose reign began with the moon half-full (i.e. neither full nor new, hence “in the midst”) and only lasted about a month (i.e. roughly within the length of a lunar cycle).

“The Labour of the Sun” corresponds to Pope John Paul II, the only Pope born during a solar eclipse.  (This one really freaks me out.)

bertone4St. Malachy refers to the last Pope as “Peter the Roman.”  A candidate for the next Papal Election is Cardinal Tarcisio Pietro Evasio Bertone from the town of Romano Canavese.  That’s right, his name is Pietro from Romano.  Oh, death.

Furthermore, this is another thing Malachy says about him:

In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop] Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills [i.e. Rome] will be destroyed, and the terrible judge will judge his people. The End.

Holy Crap.

This unfortunately and disturbingly parallels something (I’m sorry to say) in the Third Prophecy of Fatima.  Now, I’ll tell you right now that I’ve been turned off by a lot of psychotic Fatima devotees.  In fact, it got so bad that I invoked my right as a Catholic to not believe in that particular private revelation.  In any case, the Third Secret, I guess, also indicates that Rome will be destroyed (and further, the Pope will be killed).

Weirdly, among the psychotic ravings of the Fatima-obsessed parties, there is a conspiracy theory that some high-ranking clergymen have withheld part of Third Secret from the public for some reason.  It has long been believed by many that the chief culprit is none other than Cardinal Bertone (our Peter the Roman candidate).  What could that mean?  Is Bertone going to be some kind of Anti-Christ Pope?  Or is he going to shape up (assuming he has lied about Fatima) and become a noble shepherd in the upcoming catastrophe?  Or is he totally not going to be Pope at all so nevermind?

The portentous hints of armageddon could be cross-referenced with this other supernatural anecdote as well: Pope Leo XIII had a vision that the devil was going to wreak more devastation in that following century than he had ever done.  Leo had the vision about a century ago.  That century should be coming to an end … and perhaps the world is going to end with it.  It might be that bad.

When Benedict resigned, by the way, lightning struck St. Peter’s dome.  Is it ominous confirmation that the line of Peter is indeed coming to an end?  And that the city of Rome is to be destroyed with it?

One may ponder whether the efforts to turn the world into a globalized Sodom and Gomorra might have something to do with this allegedly incoming brimstone.  One may reflect whether the billion+ aborted babies could factor in this looming termination of the world.  One may question whether oneself may be a willing participant in this doomsday event.

Lastly, I’d like to draw attention to the threefold division of history (and many supposed prophets said there will only be three).

The end of the Ancient Era incidentally was marked by the Fall of the Western Roman Empire (c. 500 AD).

The end of the Medieval Era was marked by the Fall of the Eastern Roman Empire (c. 1500 AD).

Perhaps the end of the Modern Era will be the Destruction of Rome (c. 2000 AD).

Man, apocalyptic prophesies never get old, do they?  Fortunately, they have a knack of not coming true.  But it’s probably good to contemplate the end of earthly existence once and awhile.  After all, you could die today.  What’s the big difference if it’s the whole world?  Yeah, we’ll be okay.  Or not.

(P.S. Tomorrow, i.e. February 15, 2013, a huge asteroid will narrowly miss earth that could have destroyed an entire city)

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Don’t worry …

Again, not that anyone is reading this blog, but I just wanted to point out that at least nine other Popes in history have also resigned (namely, Gregory XII, Celestine V, Sylvester III, Clement II, Gregory VI, Martin I, Benedict IX, Silverius, and Pontian).  Three of those Popes, furthermore, became saints.  I even found some unconfirmed comments that Pope Clement I of Alexandria, an Apostolic Father who was taught by St. Peter himself, may have also resigned (but again, can’t confirm it).

So, don’t worry.  Benedict XVI isn’t that weird.  What I’m worried about is the prophecies of St. Malachy, which supposedly indicates that Benedict XVI is the last Pope before PETER II (who will then be the one to hand the keys back to Jesus at the Second Coming).  Oh, death.

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Not that anyone is reading this blog anymore … but …

I just saw the best movie ever.  When I say “best” I don’t actually mean that.  Or do I?

“Iron Sky” is the cinematic feast about which I speak.  It’s probably actually the worst movie ever made.  But when movies get so bad, it’s hard to tell if they might not actually be the best.  You know how confusing that can get.

So here’s the plot …

A bunch of Nazis managed to escape earth and settle on the dark side of the moon at the end of World War II.  Ever since then, they have been planning an invasion of earth.  However, the US President is a Sarah Palin-like ditz who, in a desperate campaign move to get reelected, sends a famous black male model to the moon, but of course he ends up getting captured by Nazis.  They forcefully change his skin color somehow to make him look more Aryan (which he hates and obviously says a lot of funny, racist stuff about).  Also, despite their ridiculously advanced steampunk technology, the Nazis are amazed at the astronaut’s cell phone which they then utilize to put the finishing touches on gigantic war machine.  However, the phone runs out of batteries, so they risk sending a detachment down to earth to retrieve more cell phones.  Two Nazis (a guy named Adler and his genetically compatible fiancee) along with the captured Aryanized male model go down to earth in a Nazi flying saucer and eventually gain control of the US government by helping the President with her election campaign using traditional Nazi propaganda techniques.

Iron Sky

In the meantime, the poor Aryanized male model has escaped and is living like a homeless bum, preaching on street corners about the dangers of the “Moon Nazis,” but no one listens to him.  The President’s opportunistic female campaign director falls in love with Adler who ultimately dumps her in his move to become the new Fuhrer and lead the final invasion of earth himself.  The Nazis commence a “meteorblitzkrieg” with space zeppelins towing asteroids down to earth.   The President counts all of this a blessing, since all Presidents who started a war in their first term always got reelected.  The President then unveils a secret battle spaceship called the USS George W. Bush loaded with nukes to take on these Lunar National Socialists.  In the end, the moon pretty much gets blown up and all the countries in the world start launching ICBMs at each other.

So, as you can see, best movie ever.  I won’t blame you if you hate it because it’s actually pretty bad.   But pretty dang awesome.


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A Pink Elephant (with yellow polka dots)

A silly hidden camera prank.  Pretty much the best ever.

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